2013 anxiety

So far, 2013 has brought a lot of stress and anxiety...coupled with some really fun times. I'm not complaining, but I am starting to feel a lot of different worries creep in and my head space is feeling cramped. It makes me feel nostalgic for the times when things felt more relaxed and easy, or even boring. If you know me a little, it might not make much sense, since a lot of good stuff has been happening lately. But I think people that know me more than a little might understand that my personal state of mind isn't always in line with how external life events are going. It's one of those kinds of times. I feel like I have a lot to worry about from a big general view, but getting down to the specifics I just feel silly and rationalize that I can conquer everything if I just take it one by one.

I took a long time tonight to browse old emails from the spring semester of senior year...of high school. I was looking for the emails from college alumni from the different schools I applied to in order to get a sense for how to compose my emails to my interview assignments. As usual, it probably took more effort and stress than needed because I had to look through each of my now-little-used email addresses from 2007, and if you ever try to do a mail search on yahoo, it's miserable. Finally I started manually scrolling through the email boxes and found what I was looking for. It was funny and nostalgic, remembering the different interviews, but then I started going further forward in time, finding the set of emails from when I had to decide which school. And even though (obviously) I know how it all turned out, it just has me really wound up and not able to sleep. I found some emails about Financial Aid packages, reminding me about money and loans. I saw an email from a college alumni that I never followed up on...those kind of things. I really wish I could just relax.

If you know me a little, you might find this all kind of strange, but if you know me a little more than a little, I'm not-so-indirectly asking for your kind thoughts and well wishes. Feel free to send me a message to stop looking at old emails, or to get my head together and just look forward to all the fun things to look forward to. I have a lot on my mind, but I'm pretty sure it will all be okay.

I kind of feel like this Pikachu...

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