Extended About Me (part 2 of 5)

Here's Part 1 if you missed it: http://claudelaine26.blogspot.com/2016/04/extended-about-me-part-15.html

My love for reading stemmed from both my desire to shut out the world around me, as well as learn about characters and places beyond my own experience. I am unsure whether my affinity for reading contributed to doing well in school, or the other way around, but I know that the more I read, the more I learned and the easier school became. Throughout elementary school, I became known as the “smart” girl, an identity that I wholeheartedly embraced because it focused on something positive with which I actually resonated. In addition, I found that one of the few things my parents could agree upon was that I was especially smart, so of course I did everything I could to provide them with examples of how this was true. This worked out well for me, because through my books, I learned about new worlds and experiences I wanted to have once I left California. 

In third grade, my mom and I visited her sisters in New York and Connecticut, and I visited Yale University for the first time. My aunt in Connecticut was doing her residency nearby and lived alone in a dorm, and I remember that nine-year-old me made it my goal to keep doing well in school so that I could go to Yale. Even though the adults at the time found it amusing, I knew that someday I was going to go to college, be independent, and study absolutely anything that I wanted. This goal guided my academic efforts and positive attitudes towards education because I saw education as the gateway to what I prized the most—an independent life and a concrete demonstration that my parents’ sacrifices had not been in vain.

Socially, however, I did little beyond being nice to everyone and doing my best to not get in trouble. I went to a small, Catholic, K-8 elementary school in a neighboring city that had a more diverse population than my very Filipino suburb. Not only did my elementary school expose me early on to people of other ethnicities, but it allowed me to keep separate my home life and school life. It was a nurturing environment that both fostered my love of learning and early dedication to religion. Even though I went to Catholic school, my family only went to Mass sporadically, mostly due to my mom’s changing nurse schedule, so I never thought of religion as something I had to do. At school, I learned messages like God’s love for everyone and that God knew and created everyone before he/she was even conceived. I found great comfort in these teachings, and I felt that I must be special enough for God to have created me. Relating back to my birthday, I believed it to be a reminder that I was created by God for a special unique reason. We also learned that each person has special gifts, and I decided that my gift was to somehow use knowledge to help make people happier.

As I stated before, I focused a great deal upon my schoolwork and the emotional atmosphere around me, but I knew little about the world as it actually was and found out everything I needed to know from books. In the fourth grade, I completely failed an eye exam, and my family found out that I had eyesight so bad that my doctor didn’t understand how I could do normal activities like see the blackboard or play sports in P.E. My last eye exam in kindergarten had showed no signs of sight difficulty, and I had never noticed that I had trouble like my doctor described. The day I got my glasses, however, I remember being completely amazed at the detail of the world around me. Suddenly trees had individual leaves, not green blurs in the distance. I could actually see where all the balls were coming from in dodge ball. My friends had distinct physical features. I redeveloped an interest in coloring books, painting, and took up many arts and crafts to make colorful accessories. Because I had a school uniform, I had very few opportunities to wear regular clothes, but I began taking a greater interest in what kind of clothes I bought and what they looked like. I began taking ownership of my mom’s film camera to take pictures of my friends. 

I started looking at the world, and wondering more about my place in it.