Translation with Elaine

Knowing approximately 0.01% (rough estimate) of the Japanese language has prompted me to develop certain coping mechanisms to maintain a sense of having an understanding of the world around me. Basically, whenever anyone is speaking around me, I pretend to know what they are talking about. Last week the females teachers at one of my schools were excitedly giggling with the vice-principal (also a female) and walking around the staffroom talking and collecting money--the vice-principal was asking for donations for buying a gift for a teacher, mostly likely one of their fellow female teachers that just had a baby (or had a successful surgery, that far I couldn't quite tell). I realized later that something similar had happened last week at that school, so I changed the story to being that they are collecting money to buy lunch for the day, which might actually be the case...

I know that I have no basis for guessing what is actually going on, but it feels good to make up these fun stories so that a) I don't feel so out of the loop, b) at least I remain engaged in what is going on around me and not just start tuning everyone out, and c) the highly unlikely but potentially super-amusing possibility that I am actually on the right track.

I do something similar when trying to read. Sort of. I'm still pretty good at tuning out kanji (the form of writing derived from Chinese characters), but now that I'm learning the other forms of writing, I do try to sound out what I know (usually resulting in Elaine looking like she is talking to herself on the street or in the subway). And sometimes, when places or signs are actually written in romanji (aka the roman alphabet), I also start making up what these words mean.

This tendency is TOTALLY fostered by what I actually do know about Japanese though, seriously!
For example, my area "Gakuentoshi" (gakken = school, toshi = town --> school town),
my address "Gakuen Nishimachi" (again, gakken = school, nishi = west, machi = station/train station --> I live west of the train station).
So it's kind of like a puzzle.

Today's special translation is brought to us by my friends in Nishinomiya (again, Nishi = west... though I haven't asked what "nomiya" is but I know it essentially means "west of Osaka"):
"Mukogawadanchimae"

"muko" = a mess, a muk
"gawa" = verb particle, hence making a mess
"dan" = directional marker meaning towards
"chi" = zen (duh)
"mae" = around
thereby meaning, "making a mess of the zen of all around"

:)

Obviously that's not really what it means (of course a certain silly boy had to go and actually tell me the real meaning)
"muko" = over there
"gawa" = river
"danchi" = one of the words for apartment
"mae" = in front of
thereby meaning, "[the station] in front of the apartments by that river over there"

Isn't my definition much more interesting?