OMG, my 18 year old self was so. freakin. hilarious.
Ranting about my my long distance undefined "relationship" with a boy I met at summer camp...
What’s worse is, I realized that he likes me so much because:
a) I was a girl that was nice to him…
b)I live X miles away so he doesn’t have to learn how to do anything physical…
c) because I like making people feel good about themselves, he always gets a nice pep talk about how smart and such when he talks to me…
and d) (and I hate myself for this) since I act SWEET and CUTE he thinks he’s SMARTER than me and more DOMINANT than I am in other ways----SO PATRIARCHAL!!!!!
An Archi Strong Independent Filipina Woman in the making, a little crazy, but in need of expressing herself ;)
And now I feel stupid, oh so stupid for being such a silly girl…and you know what? I’m gonna let him have it, even I never talk to him again, he has just ASSumed too much, crossed the line, AND IS MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I AM STUPID AND AWFUL AND MEAN…geez so I don’t sign on to aim for a while…deal with it I have my own life!!!!!!….sighs….
Why Valentine's Day held rather traumatic memories until very recently...
(written 5 years ago)on v-day, i was watching jeopardy with my dad, and my phone rings--thinking that it's [boy from summer camp], i pick it up, and [hometown boy] asks my if i'm at home. i respond yes, to which he hangs up abruptly....and i think oh sh*t i'm totally screwed....seriously--i was scared. about 20 min later, he calls again, asks me to come outside, all while i'm yelling into the phone about how my grandparents were coming over in an hour and we were making dinner (in reality it was more like 2 hours) he again ignores me, and tells me to open my front door---
what comes next? can you guess?!?!
Eeeeeek
A bear, with 3 balloons that say “I love you!” a box of chocolates and a red rose…
Dear my lord help me
And he’s there, and my dad give me this LOOK like, I don’t know what’s going on but we have to talk about it later look
And the thing is, he wouldn’t LEAVE!!! He stayed and we talked about normal stuff, and then my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin came, and he still wouldn’t LEAVE!!! He stayed for dinner, and for cake, and it was almost 10o’clock when he finally leaves….OMG---when I came back to the table, it was all quiet and someone pipes up “so what happened?” and I totally VENT and they could tell that I DID NOT like what had happened…honestly, I wanted a quiet evening with my family---and he didn’t even ASK if I had any plans!!!!!!! ARG thinking about it makes me mad!! Cuz really lulu, if my dad wasn’t there, I would be so scared of what he was actually thinking, if he was thinking at all!!!!
------
Now it's all pretty silly to look back on, but I cannot help but smile. ^_^
Valentine's Day isn't all bad, alrighty? Alone, with someone, far away from loves, overcrowded and needed some space...wherever you are in your life and in the world, it doesn't hurt to take a moment and celebrate love. In some way. Eat a gallon of Half Baked Ben and Jerry's while watching Glee to indulge, or go out to fancy restaurant with your sweetie, or a have a pot luck with the girls (as you can tell, my love celebrations always include food), there are a lot of ways to celebrate. :)
What’s worse is, I realized that he likes me so much because:
a) I was a girl that was nice to him…
b)I live X miles away so he doesn’t have to learn how to do anything physical…
c) because I like making people feel good about themselves, he always gets a nice pep talk about how smart and such when he talks to me…
and d) (and I hate myself for this) since I act SWEET and CUTE he thinks he’s SMARTER than me and more DOMINANT than I am in other ways----SO PATRIARCHAL!!!!!
An Archi Strong Independent Filipina Woman in the making, a little crazy, but in need of expressing herself ;)
And now I feel stupid, oh so stupid for being such a silly girl…and you know what? I’m gonna let him have it, even I never talk to him again, he has just ASSumed too much, crossed the line, AND IS MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I AM STUPID AND AWFUL AND MEAN…geez so I don’t sign on to aim for a while…deal with it I have my own life!!!!!!….sighs….
Why Valentine's Day held rather traumatic memories until very recently...
(written 5 years ago)on v-day, i was watching jeopardy with my dad, and my phone rings--thinking that it's [boy from summer camp], i pick it up, and [hometown boy] asks my if i'm at home. i respond yes, to which he hangs up abruptly....and i think oh sh*t i'm totally screwed....seriously--i was scared. about 20 min later, he calls again, asks me to come outside, all while i'm yelling into the phone about how my grandparents were coming over in an hour and we were making dinner (in reality it was more like 2 hours) he again ignores me, and tells me to open my front door---
what comes next? can you guess?!?!
Eeeeeek
A bear, with 3 balloons that say “I love you!” a box of chocolates and a red rose…
Dear my lord help me
And he’s there, and my dad give me this LOOK like, I don’t know what’s going on but we have to talk about it later look
And the thing is, he wouldn’t LEAVE!!! He stayed and we talked about normal stuff, and then my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin came, and he still wouldn’t LEAVE!!! He stayed for dinner, and for cake, and it was almost 10o’clock when he finally leaves….OMG---when I came back to the table, it was all quiet and someone pipes up “so what happened?” and I totally VENT and they could tell that I DID NOT like what had happened…honestly, I wanted a quiet evening with my family---and he didn’t even ASK if I had any plans!!!!!!! ARG thinking about it makes me mad!! Cuz really lulu, if my dad wasn’t there, I would be so scared of what he was actually thinking, if he was thinking at all!!!!
------
Now it's all pretty silly to look back on, but I cannot help but smile. ^_^
Valentine's Day isn't all bad, alrighty? Alone, with someone, far away from loves, overcrowded and needed some space...wherever you are in your life and in the world, it doesn't hurt to take a moment and celebrate love. In some way. Eat a gallon of Half Baked Ben and Jerry's while watching Glee to indulge, or go out to fancy restaurant with your sweetie, or a have a pot luck with the girls (as you can tell, my love celebrations always include food), there are a lot of ways to celebrate. :)
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