Silent Night, Holy Night
12.17
I went to Mass tonight (it's Saturday) because I wouldn't be able to go tomorrow morning. A 25 minute subway ride and a 10 minute uphill sprint and I slid into a seat with plenty of time to spare. In downtown Kobe, the church is made up of a lot of fellow internationals. It's a special time of year, the 9 nights before Christmas (simbang gabi), so there were a super high proportion of Filipinos at this particular Mass.
I have to admit...it's really different going to church now. Like, yeah at Brown I was still technically away from the fam and went to church on my own, but I always had the FAmily to back me up, and the BRCC was awesome. There are nice things about the church in Kobe of course, the priests kind of remind me of the ones back home in California (one Filipino and lecture-y, one American and teacher-y), and there are beautiful stained glass panels and other decorations (like the Advent wreath here) that elegant and understated. And I also love how they go for the contemporary Christian music too...it's quite amusing to see older people singing the same songs I heard at Praise Night or from my friends' playlists. But I dunno, it's just different...wow explanation fails today...
Anyway, after Mass I wanted to stick around after the crowd left...the atmosphere was extra mellow, but surprisingly a whole bunch of people were still around to help clean up and put stuff away. This adorable older lady asked me to carry a candle (which I almost dropped >.<) but I took pictures of the sweet, albeit small Christmas/Advent decorations.
It was at this point that I looked up to see the priest also putting away things. I had a question in my head, but I was a little scared to ask, not wanting to be provoking or something. But he saw me look in his direction and seemed to know I was going to ask him something, so I did.
"Father, do you miss the Philippines?"
And he just looked at me. A couple of the other ladies putting things away stopped to see his response.
"Well...I can't do anything about it." (insert older male Filipino accent here)
I was actually scared that I had offended him. Totally innocent question, I thought! Christmastime is one of the most beautiful times in the Philippines, and even after all the times I dreaded going there I still missed that sort of spirit that overcomes the entire country. But oh yeah, this is Japan, and saying you missed another place or wished you could be there would be seen as outwardly offensive...how many times have I been guilty of brushing off these types of questions so I don't say anything remotely negative about Japan? too many to count...
But after another moment, and probably seeing that I was the only person between the ages of 18-30 in the church by myself, and...unfortunately, maybe even noticing that I was that girl dabbing her eyes throughout much of the Mass, I then he realized I was asking because I too, am away from a happy Christmas-filled place during the most favorite and wonderful time of year.
I don't even remember what I said in reply. Honestly I think I just tried to not start crying again. Yeah...I know it's super lame, and I do think it will get better when I have more Christmasy reminders and a very special visitor coming very soon. But yeah, I can't help but wish I was feeling sick and tired of the malls playing Christmas music, shopping and getting presents, and all that other stuff. It's my favorite time of year you know? And I can't help but feel like its just passing by.
But being at church was really nice, even being alone and all the families around and stuff. It was a reminder that the real reason for Christmas being awesome has always been the same, and even if where I am isn't exactly oozing with Christmas spirit, it's everywhere and anywhere.
I went to Mass tonight (it's Saturday) because I wouldn't be able to go tomorrow morning. A 25 minute subway ride and a 10 minute uphill sprint and I slid into a seat with plenty of time to spare. In downtown Kobe, the church is made up of a lot of fellow internationals. It's a special time of year, the 9 nights before Christmas (simbang gabi), so there were a super high proportion of Filipinos at this particular Mass.
I have to admit...it's really different going to church now. Like, yeah at Brown I was still technically away from the fam and went to church on my own, but I always had the FAmily to back me up, and the BRCC was awesome. There are nice things about the church in Kobe of course, the priests kind of remind me of the ones back home in California (one Filipino and lecture-y, one American and teacher-y), and there are beautiful stained glass panels and other decorations (like the Advent wreath here) that elegant and understated. And I also love how they go for the contemporary Christian music too...it's quite amusing to see older people singing the same songs I heard at Praise Night or from my friends' playlists. But I dunno, it's just different...wow explanation fails today...
Anyway, after Mass I wanted to stick around after the crowd left...the atmosphere was extra mellow, but surprisingly a whole bunch of people were still around to help clean up and put stuff away. This adorable older lady asked me to carry a candle (which I almost dropped >.<) but I took pictures of the sweet, albeit small Christmas/Advent decorations.
It was at this point that I looked up to see the priest also putting away things. I had a question in my head, but I was a little scared to ask, not wanting to be provoking or something. But he saw me look in his direction and seemed to know I was going to ask him something, so I did.
"Father, do you miss the Philippines?"
And he just looked at me. A couple of the other ladies putting things away stopped to see his response.
"Well...I can't do anything about it." (insert older male Filipino accent here)
I was actually scared that I had offended him. Totally innocent question, I thought! Christmastime is one of the most beautiful times in the Philippines, and even after all the times I dreaded going there I still missed that sort of spirit that overcomes the entire country. But oh yeah, this is Japan, and saying you missed another place or wished you could be there would be seen as outwardly offensive...how many times have I been guilty of brushing off these types of questions so I don't say anything remotely negative about Japan? too many to count...
But after another moment, and probably seeing that I was the only person between the ages of 18-30 in the church by myself, and...unfortunately, maybe even noticing that I was that girl dabbing her eyes throughout much of the Mass, I then he realized I was asking because I too, am away from a happy Christmas-filled place during the most favorite and wonderful time of year.
I don't even remember what I said in reply. Honestly I think I just tried to not start crying again. Yeah...I know it's super lame, and I do think it will get better when I have more Christmasy reminders and a very special visitor coming very soon. But yeah, I can't help but wish I was feeling sick and tired of the malls playing Christmas music, shopping and getting presents, and all that other stuff. It's my favorite time of year you know? And I can't help but feel like its just passing by.
But being at church was really nice, even being alone and all the families around and stuff. It was a reminder that the real reason for Christmas being awesome has always been the same, and even if where I am isn't exactly oozing with Christmas spirit, it's everywhere and anywhere.
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